JESSICA'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER JESSICA’S TAKE:

We are sorry to hear about your troubles. But no matter how sad you are feeling right now, just ask anyone who has been through it a broken engagement is still better than suffering through a bad marriage or divorce.

The purpose of the engagement period is to give both of you time to consider whether marriage is the right step, and not every engaged couple gets married. We don't know why your relationship isn't working, but we can answer the question about your ring definitively: An engagement ring, regardless of whether it is a diamond or not, is a "gift in contemplation of marriage." If you marry, or even if you later divorce, the ring is yours to keep as your fiancé gave it to you in contemplation of your marriage to him and you did so. If he breaks the engagement, legally the ring is yours to keep (on the assumption that you accepted it with the intent to marry him and would have, had he not broken the engagement). The same reasoning applies to a ring that you give your groom as an engagement gift. However, if you are the one who breaks the engagement, you must return the ring. If the decision to break the engagement is mutual, then the question of who keeps the ring(s) is more difficult. Generally speaking, if you are both in agreement that the engagement should be broken, tradition dictates that it is good manners to return the ring to your fiancé. If you really want to keep the ring, it is something you will need to negotiate with your fiance.

ALISON'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER ALISON’S TAKE:

An engagement ring is a symbol of a promise you made to keep to one another. If things don't work out, it is just a piece of jewelry. It might be pretty perhaps, but it also might be a constant and painful reminder of a broken relationship and the dream of "happily-ever-after." Despite the fact that you no longer have plans to marry, and even if you are the one who decided that you do not wish to go through with the marriage, your fiancé might offer to let you keep the ring anyway. As unbelievable as it sounds, we have even heard a few stories from women in your situation who were asked to purchase their engagement ring from the man they once planned to marry!

No matter how much you want to keep the ring, our advice is to return the it if you have not married and if he asks for it back. Don't fight over it even if you think you are justified in keeping the ring. You will get a better one from someone better suited to you someday -- one that will give you joy every single time you look at it and remember why you're wearing it. You won't miss this one.

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