JESSICA'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER JESSICA’S TAKE:

The Advice Sisters don't usually believe in love at first sight. If anything, that's LUST at first site, But if you were that attracted it's natural that you might continue to think of her from time to time. There's nothing wrong with that really, except if it stops you from seeking out and making new relationships that have the potential of "going somewhere" when this one obviously didn't.

First of all, you were both attracted to each other and that's a good thing....but this girl isn't the only fish in the ocean. Instead of feeling sad about it, SMILE, because you had a GOOD experience with her–even if it didn't get to where you wanted it to go. Accept this, and you are on your way to breaking this girls' spell.

Next, get busy with someone –or at least something--else. I know this is more easily said than done, but if you throw yourself into a project or activity you enjoy or find someone you can enjoy spending time with even if you don't feel "the same way" as towards this fleeting love. Stay busy and you won't have time to think about her.

It is important to learn when to "let go" when you've met someone and it clearly is not going to work out.

Try this affirmation: " I will be fine without (add name)- I will meet the right one for me if I keep looking."

ALISON'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER ALISON’S TAKE:

The bad news is that your special someone isn't this girl, but the good news is that the right girl for you IS out there. By the time she comes along this girl is going to be a distant memory. You can make that happen just as Advice Sister Jessica suggests, by realizing that whatever the initial attraction, the girl you met had different criteria for a match than yours. We'll assume she already determined her 3 must-haves and non-negotiables as we describe them in our book RECRUITING LOVE-USING THE BUSINESS SKILLS YOU HAVE TO FIND THE LOVE YOU WANT GET A COPY OF RECRUITING LOVE and decided to pass on developing a relationship with you. That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, at all....all it means is that you want different things.

I'm wondering...do you have clearly fixed in your mind what you feel are the essential elements of what would make a good match for you? You mention that this girl was beautiful. but not that you have the same values or compatible personalities, for example. I know that physical attraction, especially for young men, is a powerful thing, but could it be that you are just attracted to the pretty vision of women and not the rest of the qualities that make a good match?

My suggestion is to take some time to really think about the qualities you are seeking in a relationship, both inside and out. You may be surprised to find that what you think you want in a mate isn't what you want (or what is important) at all! It might also be helpful for you to think about what kinds of assets and liabilities YOU bring to a potential mate. Then you can begin showcasing your good points when you meet new women, and downplay anything you feel might be a potential liability. Once you get the specifics of what you want firmly fixed in your mind, it will be easier for you to forget that the new women you meet aren't THIS woman. I highly suggest you read RECRUITING LOVE and soon you will be able to objectively look past this rejection and start focusing on what new people who want YOU also have to offer.