JESSICA'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER JESSICA’S TAKE:

That depends on what kind of "love" you are in. We aren't saying you aren't "in love," but there are different kinds and levels of love. The Advice Sisters urge you to be responsible about your feelings, and be respectful of your cyber-love's feelings, too. Hearts can be broken as easily online as in person. So before you figure out how to tell someone you've met online that you love them, do be sure that it's really love that you feel. Saying "I love you" and meaning it in terms of "I see potential for us to be together forever" is a serious step in a relationship and quite different from what might be called "cyber-infatuation."

For some, "cyber-love" is just an attractive game to be played with an on-line partner. There are a number of "just-for-fun" cyber wedding "chapels" where you can actually go with your cyber-love and tie the cyber "knot." You can even invite a wedding party and friends to be "witnesses" to the on-line "ceremony" and afterwards, and you can print a certificate signifying that you got married, online! This is all in fun, of course, but some people make think it's more "real" than it is. (For the record, online marriages are not legal, but the commitment may still be taken very seriously if that's what the couple wants).

Lots of people carry on long-distance "romances" online, but if what you want is a more solid relationship offline, it would be wiser to see if you also have in-person "chemistry" (the kind you develop with someone you can see, touch, and experience in-person) before you profess feelings of love!

ALISON'S TAKE:

ADVICE SISTER ALISON’S TAKE:

The nature of "cyber-relationships" is such that online romance, by it's very nature, can be easily won and sometimes, easily lost (when you finally meet in person or tire of the romance). Online romances also develop differently than more traditional, in-person relationships. Until an online romance solidifies off-line, they it is very fragile and both parts of a cyber-couple can be very vulnerable, so I agree with Advice Sister Jessica that if you're looking for a "flesh-and-blood" relationship, and not just an online romance, it's wise to save the "I love you's" for after you've met in person and have decided that this woman is as wonderful offline as in cyberspace.

Having said this, however, The Sisters know that online romances are fun and they can sometimes be wonderful, long lasting, and fulfilling. The most obvious difference is that you are communicating with words, but not with body language since you can't really see who you're dealing with. Photos (assuming that your cyber-love actually sends one of her and not her friend-sister-roommate, etc.), and phone calls, will give you a better impression of your online love. Unfortunately, they only do so much to move the relationship forward, off-line. On the other hand, getting to know someone online allows people, especially those who are shy, to express themselves often more fully than if they were talking to someone face-to-face. When you finally do meet in person, you have already discussed many of the important issues that make or break relationships.

THE ADVICE SISTERS ANSWER THIS PART TOGETHER: Now that we've gotten the "be sure, before you say I love you" lecture out of the way, The Advice Sisters are delighted to share with you some of the ways we think you might convey your feelings to your on-line love:

Of course, the most romantic and most traditional way to express one's love is through a good old fashioned love letter. Whether it's an email, an e-card, or an actual, paper letter sent through snail mail to the one you love, a love letter is the classic way to let someone know that you love them! You don't have to be a witty or talented writer to send a great love letter. Just tell this special woman what, in your eyes, makes her so special. Poets, of course, can try a poem. A personal love sonnet is very impressive if you want to capture the heart of your cyber-love! If you don't have much facility with words, check out sites online designed JUST to help you figure out just the right words to say to your cyber-love.

Even though your romance hasn't moved offline, your expression of love, certainly can! Why not send flowers? They are also a timeless expression of romantic feelings. If you don't have her address and don't want to ask, send a cyber-bouquet! It won't cost you a dime, and she'll get the message, loud and clear.

If you're talented with technology, how about producing a video with the theme being "I love you" of course! Or, send her a love song, or even an entire cd (if you have a burner) that's dedicated to her (if she's got a traditional name, you might even make all the songs ones that have her name in the title!). If you have a couple of bucks to spend, you can "mix" a CD for purchase on most online music stores If you're talented with music, write her a love song and then send it over cyber-space to her mailbox!

And of course, if you are really sure you're in love and want to prove it in a big way, there's virtually nothing you can't order online and send to your cyber-love (if you don't know her real address by the time you are ready to pledge your love, maybe the relationship needs more time to mature. Giving out personal information online is a matter of trust that needs to be earned, over time. THE ADVICE SISTERS urge you not to share information of a personal nature with "just anyone" you meet on line.

Last, but not least, maybe the most modern (and still very romantic) way to tell your cyber love your feelings is in person. If you truly believe your feelings are real, maybe it's the time to crack open that piggy bank and buy that plane ticket to visit your cyber-love and make it "real." (Extra tip: a long stemmed rose makes you easier to find in an airport!)