Feature - Love Yourself

How To Love Yourself!

It might seem impractical, or selfish, to focus on yourself, but self-help is essential to your well-being! If you don't take the time to love yourself, who will? The following suggestions look easy, but there's more than what meets the eye. They'll take a moment to learn and a lifetime to master!

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE LOVED! You deserve love, but most of all, from yourself! Stop feeling selfish or guilty if you take care of yourself, first. You're your own first responsibility! Give yourself the true gift of life: make a commitment to listen to your body, heart and spirit and vow never to ignore them again! Don't make any excuses why you can't do it........START NOW!

RESPECT YOUR BODY: An abused body will eventually let you down. Learn what your body needs to work at it's best and do your best to respect those needs. Exercise regularly. Join a gym, or ask a friend to exercise with you, or treat yourself to a few sessions with a professional trainer to get on the right track.

RESPECT YOUR MIND: You are always a work in progress, so indulge in lifetime learning. Learn a new skill, read books, stay up on current events. Never let anyone make you feel silly or inadequate! Speak out about what bothers. Write letters. Become an activist. You can't change yourself, or the world, if you stay silent. Learn how to say "NO" so you don't overwhelm yourself with promises you can't keep - it doesn't make you a bad person!

GET PHYSICAL: Physical contact with others is important. Ask for hugs from your loved ones and give plenty back! A reassuring pat on the back, or hand, especially to the elderly, infirm, or very young, can boost spirits. Touch gives both the giver and receiver a sense of calm, security, and comfort.

LEARN TO PRIORITIZE: It's easy to get stressed out when you're overwhelmed. If you've got too much on your plate, identify the sources of your greatest anxiety and work on those, first. If you're struggling to bring in a big project on time, don't agree to take on non-essential projects, (E.g. buy the bake sale cookies or delegate the baking to someone else when you've got a major presentation for your company at the same time).

DON'T USE POISONOUS LANGUAGE: What you say has an awesome power over how you feel, how you act, and ultimately over your success and happiness. Never put yourself down, even in your thoughts. Replace negative words with powerful, positive ones. Tell yourself that you are wonderful, wise, and worthy. APPROVE OF YOURSELF! Say: "I LOVE YOU" to yourself at least once a day, while looking in a mirror. If you say it, you will believe it!

BE GRACIOUS AND GENEROUS: Give praise to yourself and also to others. Giving makes you strong and powerful. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit, but praise builds it up. Speak positively and praise others often about how well the little things are going, even if the big things still need work. Positive change will follow. Enjoy the feeling of giving and getting compliments. Don't feel bashful, just smile and say "thank you" without making excuses!

FORGIVE YOUR MISTAKES: It's terribly stressful to pretend that everything is fine, especially if it's not. Life doesn't always come with easy answers and NO ONE IS PERFECT! If things go wrong or you've made a mistake, forgive yourself. Allow yourself time to learn, grown, develop new ways of thinking, living, and behaving.

KNOW WHEN TO GIVE AND GET SUPPORT: Being strong means knowing when you need help, and reaching out to others for it. Learn to ask for it (they can't read your mind). Giving support to others in need will make you feel confident and loving. Volunteer for a worthy cause, or just reach out to those around you with your attention and affection. Spend more time with your family and friends. Have a party for dear friends. Send a letter to someone you've missed.

STOP FRIGHTENING YOURSELF: It's easy to terrorize yourself with frightening, negative thoughts...but that's a horrible way to live! You deserve peace of mind. To get it, start by finding a mental image that gives you pleasure (E.g. lounging on a tropical beach, walking in the peaceful woods, etc.) and when you feel upset or afraid, focus your mind on that "happy image." The fear will subside.

PAMPER YOURSELF: Life's little pleasures lift your spirits and boost your well-being. Pamper yourself with a hot bath, one perfect rose, candles on the table, a few extra minutes to relax before you greet the day, and go to bed at night,...the list is endless! Indulge in the truly luxe by saving up, then "giving in" once in a while to something you really want.

REACH OUT TO OTHERS: Helping others makes you feel even better about yourself. Volunteer for a worthy cause, even if you can only spare a few hours a week or month. Visit shut-ins or serve a holiday meal at a shelter or soup kitchen. You'll be with other loving, caring people keeping busy so you won't have time to think negative thoughts. More importantly, the gratitude you'll receive from those less fortunate than you will life your spirits will make your life seem much better than you thought! You will be admired and appreciated, and you will definitely feel loved!

GET INSPIRED: Look for inspiration to make your life more successful, easier, and more fun. Network with accomplished people you admire. Read about their good deeds, write them letters (you may get a letter in return!) and join groups where you will meet like-minded others. Get inspired by the world around you. Don't forget spiritual inspiration.

STOP BEING CRITICAL: Start with yourself. Harsh criticism never changes a thing, either. No one is perfect. Realize that you're moving forward and finding new, positive ways to handle old, negative patterns. Accept what you've done in the past and accept yourself as you are now...a good person with the ability to change whatever isn't working well in your life. Allow the same courtesy to others.

BE THANKFUL FOR WHO YOU ARE AND HOPEFUL ABOUT THE FUTURE: You can't predict the future, but as long as you are breathing and thinking, you have a new opportunity, every single waking moment, to make things better for yourself, for others, for the world. Never give up on your dreams, and never wish to be someone else, or something you're not. Start loving yourself more by appreciating the good things you already are, and be thankful that you're YOU. Others will be thankful, too!

By Alison Blackman Dunham for THE ADVICE SISTERS®

The Advice Sisters are also the authors of RECRUITING LOVE-Using The Business Skills You Have To Find The Love You Want. Click to learn how to buy RECRUITING LOVE and the "Making New Connections" audio series.

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