How Can I Get My Life Back On Track?
Q: I really need to get it together and take charge of my life this year. I want to get my life back on track. I keep making new years resolutions and never reach those goals. Do you have any ideas on what I should be doing to give myself a fighting chance to change?
A: It’s great that you want to make this year the year to finally overcome obstacles and move forward. But before you rush forward, think back: If you have long standing issues that you haven’t been able to resolve, let’s consider why things derailed and what can help you move forward effectively this time.
IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM:
Start by considering your past to go forward. Ask yourself: “Why wasn’t I able to accomplish this goal in the past?”
To help you answer this question, make a list of your past goals and see where you derailed. Was it a special situation, or you just gave up?
What aspects of accomplishing this goal did you like the best and the least?
* what skills you used and enjoyed/didn’t enjoy
* What could you have done differently to reach your goal?
Look carefully at the list. Do you see a pattern?
There are many reasons why you might have sabotaged your success in the past.
The hard part is facing up to accepting responsibility where it is due.
If you have been fired or quit a number of jobs, for example, perhaps the circumstances forced you into those situations, but not every time. Maybe your expectations were unreasonable? Maybe you gave up, or had a bad attitude or poor interpersonal skills. Could it be that some of those times you just weren’t motivated or skillful enough to be successful?
Honesty is key if you want to succeed, Blaming someone or something else won’t help you get closer to success.
MAKE A NEW & DIFFERENT PLAN:
Now that you have considered the past. Think about the present.
What is it that you want to accomplish. Be clear about what you want to do, and the skills you will need to reach that goal.
For example, if you are hoping to make a career move, start by assessing the skills do you already and feel most confident about and which do you dislike? There are jobs that will use the skills you like and feel strongest with. If you are trying to lose weight, what aspects of getting healthier feel most comfortable, and which will be more challenging?
The first step to these goals is to get a reality check: how much and how long will it be to get the training you need? Could you try for a junior position to learn on-the-job? If you can’t get off the couch on your own, could you get a workout buddy or a personal trainer that comes to your home? Could you start with making better food choices, or simply taking walks?
The process of change can be a lonely process with a lot of hard work involved, but no one can do this for you.
Continue to believe in your abilities that you can and will reach your goals. Here are just a few tactics to get you started:
Here are just a few tactics to get you started:
Look for support, or a mentor. If the road ahead seems long, windy and complicated, think about joining a success team of people who are also trying to make positive change and reach the same or a similar goal. *an article on my relationship advice website leatherandlaceadvice.com is focused on dating and relationships, but success teams for all sorts of issues are everywhere. Read about how to join and/or create a success team.
This is often hard to do, but try to stress less about reaching the goal, and just live each day. Exercise, a healthy diet, social time with friends can help.
To be truly competitive, you must be able to promote yourself. Learn how to use affirmations and positive statements to let others know you’re confident! If you don’t believe in yourself, who else will?
Stay The Course and Stay Positive
It isn’t a “goal” if you have reached it, it’s a success!
Most new years resolutions fail because they are unrealistic, or people get discouraged and quit. You have probably heard this before, but you have to embrace, if not enjoy, the journey!
For example, if you want to read more books this year, don’t try for a book a week, just try reading a few pages or a chapter a day. You’ll get to the end of the first book without being stressed out and will move on to the next one. Understand that you may have to work harder, and longer to reach your goals than you anticipated, but if you stick with it you will reach your goals.
There’s no time like the present to get started. Make it happen!