V-day Emotional Overload? Here are Unique Ways to show those you love (and those you don’t) how you really feel
by Alison Blackman aka. “Advice Sister Alison”
Valentine’s Day brings up plenty of emotions. For some, it’s the soft glow of knowing they’re loved, really loved. For others, it’s the anticipation of a relationship just getting out of the starting gate (and going well). For others, it’s a time to say “I really like you” to special people. For others, however, Valentines Day brings up all sorts of angst because they’ve recently lost a love (or they’ve broken up) or because they feel they should be with someone and they’re not. Others simply ignore the day, poo-poo-ing it as another commercial ploy by companies to get frantic boys and girls, men and women, and even their pets, the show their love with cards, candy, and whatnot. But if there’s any day in the calendar when you’re likely to feel judged, it’s Valentines Day.
As I see it, Valentines’ day is anything you want it to be, but it’s a lovely time to remind the special people in your life how much they mean to you. It also gives you an opportunity to tell some “special people” how much they don’t mean to you. In other words, the ones you want to purge from your heart!
I wrote a similar feature for the Advice Sisters back in 2000, but times have changed a lot since then. Here’s the updated version.
Spa or beauty products “red anything” from lipstick to nails is the best on V-day or any day (check our beauty archives or just type the kind of product you want into our search box on the top right hand side of the page)
Candles (I like the ones from Diamond Candles or Bella J with rings or little charms in every candle)
Wine (check our Food/Travel/Culture archives or just type the kind of varietal you want into our search box on the top right hand side of the page)
Balloons Bouquets, or real Bouquets or a live plant (flowers are always appropriate).
A gallon of your friends’ favorite ice cream tied with ribbons (you’re bringing it over with two spoons)
Seal it with a hiss – name one of the Bronx Zoo’s Madagascar hissing cockroaches for your special person ($10) your recipient gets a certificate of honor with the name of your roach and you help support work for wildlife in the forests of Madagascar and throughout the world’s most majestic wild places
Pamper your Pet with their favorite treats (or just, this once, let them lie on the white sofa all day long)
A phone call -not a text, or an email (because your voice is so much better than looking at a screen to connect in a personal way)
a love letter (we just don’t do enough communicating in more than @140 characters anymore)
a massage candle with a book of certificated for personal massages (give by you, of course)
a lunch or dinner where everything is heart-shaped and made by you (but delicious–no Fresh Direct, no cheating!)
a “movie night” where the movies are all his or her favorites (even if his is Platoon or hers is The Notebook)
Seeds or plants for your garden that you’ll watch grow, together
If you live where it’s chilly, bundle up, bring a thermos of hot chocolate and snuggle while watching the sunset. If it’s waay too cold to go outside, stay in and snuggle while watching the sunset from a venue that has a view. If you are in a warm climate, bring a blanket and snuggle on the balcony or head to the beach.
Seal it with a hiss – name one of the Bronx Zoo’s Madagascar hissing cockroaches for your true love ($10) your recipient gets a certificate of honor with the name of your roach and you help support work for wildlife in the forests of Madagascar and throughout the world’s most majestic wild places *I did this for my husband last year (yes, he was amused)
Buy some sexy gifts. check out the advice sisters spicy holiday gift guide for some intimate (not trashy) suggestions. You might also want to watch this 25-minute show on video about gifting & intimate gifts for lovers my co-author and & did for the Dr. Joy Show (you’ll get ideas without blushing).
Rose petals, everywhere!
Self-improvement books or videos
A totally tacky gift (e.g. the singing Bass/Deer/Duck/etc.or perhaps an ice cube tray in the shape of…(you fill in the blank)
Drugstore candy (better if it is from last year–as in, “expired”)
A card with a romantic note inside sent to him or her, with someone else’s name on it
those wedding invitations you never used because the wedding was called off (sent C.O.D.) to his or her address (even better if you send a bill for them along with it)
a gift certificate for some online relationship counseling with a note explaining that without it, s/he will be single a long, long, time
A separation agreement or signed divorce papers!
FOR YOU, IF THERE’S NO ONE SPECIAL RIGHT NOW — If you’re as sick of the Valentine’s Day hype as some people get about the endless bleating of Christmas songs into public places (“If I have to hear “Santa Baby or “The Little Drummer Boy” one more time I’ll scream!“) here are some suggestions to keep keep yourself smiling and sane during this “special day.” Just remember, like it or hate it, every holiday is just 24 hours and then it’s over! (you’ll survive it).
1. Ditch the gym and do something UNhealthy (I’m not advocating this as a daily routine–just today). Go to an ice cream parlor and eat the hot fudge sundae you couldn’t possibly eat (because it’s fattening). Gather the single ladies and do the boozy champagne happy hour. When was the last time you visited an actual deli and had a hot pastrami sandwich? Then go to a club and dance your ass off (all of you, no wallflowers)
2. This is a perfect night to hit that local karaoke bar and sing a song that makes you feel strong (e.g. I will Survive” and “Respect” but you’ve got your own favorites, so belt them out)!
3. Hit a comedy club — because laughing is the best feeling in the world!
4. Shop — February is still sales season, and it won’t be so crowded on February 14th in the evening. They may be snagging dinner with someone but you’ll be snagging tons of bargains!
5. Offer to babysit a friend’s kid (or two) and hit Chuckie Cheese’s or another pizza/game arcade. Bring as many dollars in quarters as you can carry. Order a pizza and play video and arcade games –you will have a blast and you’ll be truly adored by those kids (at least for the evening)!
6. 50 Shades of Grey is launching on February 14th, but if you don’t want to wait in line with the couples (at least half the people there are there because not because they want to see it but just to be “good sports) go to any movie that captivates you.
7. Any Irish bar which has live music will lift your spirits and give you a fun, memorable evening (and those Irish guys...are smiling) !
8. People watch the couples…Visit a restaurant (with friends or alone) and watch the couples. There are a lot of unhappy and anxious faces on V-day evening, when expectations haven’t been met).
9. Do nothing at all because you really don’t care about Valentines’ Day (but still send greetings to those special people in your live who deserve your love and attention today and every day see ideas at the top of this page)