What is True Love? Do You Have It?
By Alison Blackman
On my dating and relationship advice website, leatherandlaceadvice.com, there have been so many letters asking us why someone they love isn’t in love with them, or just: “How do I know if the love I have is a true love?”
These aren’t simple questions and there aren’t simple answers, but perhaps this will help!
A Definition of True Love
“Love” is ultimately caring for and caring about another person. Love is ultimately the desire to be with and around that person. But true love is more than just love.
True love is so powerful it is more a “knowing” you both share that can’t be put into mere words. It gives you a feeling of serenity that is always with you, even if that person isn’t with you.
You know that there is someone who you love who loves you back just as much, and the world feels like a better place because you have been blessed with this special connection.
Even if you can’t be near this person or don’t see them for a long time, the feeling of true love between you remain strong.
True Love Doesn’t Have To Be A Romantic Love
True love might not always be of the romantic variety, although it often is.
Actress Debbie Reynolds and her daughter, Carrie Fisher were bonded so closely. when Carrie died suddenly, Debbie died just days later.
The need to love and protect your child, and the urge to be with them as in the love of a mother for her daughter is definitely, a true love.
True Love Isn’t Logical
You may have read about heterosexual men or women who suddenly are besotted with someone of their same sex, even though they never thought about it before.
Someone sees a fleeting glimpse of someone else and claims love at first sight. These examples are really infatuation or lust.
Real love takes some time to develop. You really have to know someone completely to completely love them.
A true love relationship has to be mutual and lasting even when the relationship hits a rough patch. All relationships no matter how wonderful, do.
There’s a reason wedding vows include: “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death part us.”
Two Parts of a Whole?
You don’t stop loving them even when they irritate or disappoint you because any negatives are just a small part of all the good things they are.
It’s not far-fetched to say that two people who truly love one another are individuals but they are two parts of a whole. They’re visibly in sync with one another in their body language.
True lovers retain their own identities, but together they’re an unbreakable unit, stronger and happier.
True Love is a Selfless Love
True love is selfless. You want someone else to succeed. You aren’t jealous if good things happen for them even if you don’t share in the benefits. You wish for their well being and happiness as much or more than your own.
Selfless love can also be unromantic love, exemplified by religious figures such as Mother Teresa or the Dalai Llama. We are not all saints, but when it comes to true love, you would gladly make a sacrifice for that person because it is important to them, even if there is nothing at all in it for you.
Love is a sort of involuntary submission — one you joyfully enter even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense.
If you have this kind of love, you are very lucky. But if you don’t have it, there’s always the chance that you’ll find it. When you do, you’ll know what it is.